When Aria asked, ‘What if sad’s just your normal?’, I didn’t have the answers – but together, we found a way forward. – Aria’s mum
I love my daughter Aria more than anything in the world. She’s bright, curious, creative – but for a while, I could see she was struggling. She’d get anxious, withdrawn, and she couldn’t tell me why. One night at dinner, she looked at me and asked, “What if sad’s just your normal?” That broke my heart. What do you say to a nine-year-old who thinks sadness might be their default? Aria couldn’t explain what she was feeling. And I couldn’t fix it. I’m not a psychologist. I didn’t have the tools. I just kept telling her I loved her, hoping it would be enough. But I was scared. I didn’t know how to help her – not really. There aren’t many resources to help parents like me. Your instinct kicks in, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing. If a child cuts their knee, you clean the wound, put on a band-aid. But with mental health struggles? Sometimes you don’t even know it’s there until it’s already deep.
Then something changed. At school, Aria’s teacher began using Smiling Mind with the class. “The teacher would put on Smiling Mind and we’d all lie down on the ground to make all of us really calm and relaxed, and we’d focus more,” she told me. It was a turning point. I noticed she wasn’t just managing better at school – she was more open at home. Talking about her feelings. Engaging with her learning in a way I hadn’t seen before. “She has gained a beautiful love of learning because she can focus on the work,” I tell people now. We’ve started using Smiling Mind together – at bedtime, on stressful mornings, on days when everything feels too much. It’s part of our rhythm now – a gentle, practical tool we both can rely on. “I think I’ve become a better person, and I think I’ve become more open to my emotions because of Smiling Mind,” Aria tells me. And she has. I see it every day.
It’s still hard sometimes. Watching your child struggle with wellbeing is heartbreaking – but knowing you might not be able to help them, that’s the hardest part. Smiling Mind has given me something I didn’t know I was missing: a way in. A way to support her without needing to have all the answers. It’s taught her self awareness, and it’s given me peace of mind. We’re not just reacting anymore, we’re building resilience – together. Sometimes I still think about what Aria said – about sadness being her normal. And then I look at her now – grounded, expressive, learning to understand herself – and I think: maybe this can be her normal now.
*From her mum’s perspective
